SHVEITZBURNE HUMAN RESOURCES DIVISION
Now Hiring
Shveitzburne is growing. A few positions remain open. All unpaid, all prestigious.
Pickle Taster
Sample each jar at regular intervals for quality assurance. Must have strong opinions about the dill to garlic ratio.
COMPENSATION: PICKLES
Frog Population Census Taker
Conduct a nightly headcount of the pool's frog residents. Reports directly to the Mayor.
COMPENSATION: BRAGGING RIGHTS
Granola Quality Control
Ensure proper chocolate chip distribution across all trays. Taste testing required, not optional.
COMPENSATION: GRANOLA
Fire Marshal, Rotisserie Division
Keep the flame steady from first spark to last bite. Previous lamb experience a plus.
COMPENSATION: FIRST CUT
Head of Squirrel Relations
Maintain diplomatic ties with the morning breakfast regulars. Some travel (across the lawn) required.
COMPENSATION: TBD, ASK THE SQUIRRELS
Apply
No experience necessary, enthusiasm mandatory.