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SHVEITZBURNE
A Laboratory of Better Living
Now Hiring
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Issue No. 1 · Week of July 12, 2026

Lamb Over Fire, a Barbecue for the Books, and the Frogs Are Winning

A big week at Shveitzburne. We roasted a 10 pound lamb shoulder over fire on Sunday, hosted a special needs camp for a barbecue last night, and we are currently hosting my nephew on the property. The pull-out bar we built with our own hands got its first real use, we broke ground on the vegetable garden, and the wildlife report is in: frogs still thriving, squirrels showing up for breakfast on schedule, and the birds have found the property's worm supply. Details on all of it below, organized the way the house itself is: by spirit, food, movement, and nature.

Community & Spirit

The Special Needs Camp Came for a Barbecue

Last night we hosted a special needs camp for a barbecue on the property, and it was as meaningful as it was successful. This is exactly the kind of afternoon Shveitzburne was built for: a place where people feel genuinely good. Getting to watch it happen made it real.

The crew rolled in before dinner, claimed the back fence line, and stayed until the fire burned low. Nobody was in a hurry to leave, which we are taking as the highest possible review.

the crew, right before dinner
the crew, right before dinner

The Nephew Has Arrived

Big highlight of the week: we are currently hosting my nephew at the property. He has already found the snack shelf, learned the frog situation firsthand, and started angling for an official job title. The Cabinet is reviewing his application.

Food & Gathering

10 Lbs of Lamb, Over Fire, All Day

Sunday was the day we had been talking about for weeks: a 10 pound lamb shoulder, roasted over fire and slow cooked. A certified high. Everything we hoped it would be.

The fire went most of the day, the peppers went on the grate underneath to catch the drippings, and the first bite confirmed what the smell had been promising all afternoon.

10 lbs, over fire, all day
10 lbs, over fire, all day

We Built an Outdoor Pull-Out Bar

Built it ourselves, start to finish. It now lives outside and pulls out whenever the property needs to turn into a gathering spot on short notice. This week, it did. It served its first real crowd at the barbecue and held up like it was born for the job.

We Broke Ground on the Garden

Officially underway: a vegetable garden. Ground broken, plans in motion. The dirt has been notified.

Pickling Production Is Officially Underway

Five jars, dated and labeled, brining as we speak. The Director of Pickle Production has entered the chat. First tasting is scheduled for whenever willpower runs out.

this week's batch, dated and ready to brine
this week's batch, dated and ready to brine

Granola Production, Also Underway

Two full trays, chocolate chips included. The Chief Snacking Officer has been busy. Early quality control reports describe the chocolate chip distribution as generous and improving.

two trays, fresh out of the oven
two trays, fresh out of the oven
Movement & Body

We Put Up a Pull-Up Bar

Rigged between two trees, already getting used. Simple, sturdy, exactly the kind of thing this property needed. A rep record has been claimed. It has not been independently verified.

the new pull-up bar, already in use
the new pull-up bar, already in use
Nature & Wildlife

Frog Population Report: Still Very Strong

An update from the Pool Department: the frogs remain thriving. Suspiciously, impressively thriving. No one at Shveitzburne remembers approving this level of population growth. The ringleader has been nicknamed the Mayor, and he swims laps like he pays taxes here.

the Mayor, doing laps
the Mayor, doing laps

Squirrels and Birds, on the Breakfast Beat

The squirrels have made morning breakfast a habit. Same time, same spot, every day. Meanwhile the birds have discovered the property is loaded with worms and are treating it accordingly. Nicknames are pending. Suggestions welcome.

clocking in for the morning shift
clocking in for the morning shift

The Cabinet of Shveitzburne

This week's official (and entirely unelected) appointments:

  • Minister of Coffee: TBD
  • Director of Pickle Production: TBD
  • Chief Snacking Officer: TBD
  • Secretary of the Pull-Out Bar: TBD

Send names and titles and we will swear them in next issue.

Now Hiring

Shveitzburne is growing. A few positions remain open. All unpaid, all prestigious.

  • Pickle Taster. Sample each jar at regular intervals for quality assurance. Must have strong opinions about the dill to garlic ratio. Compensation: pickles.
  • Frog Population Census Taker. Conduct a nightly headcount of the pool's frog residents. Reports directly to the Mayor. Compensation: bragging rights.
  • Granola Quality Control. Ensure proper chocolate chip distribution across all trays. Taste testing required, not optional. Compensation: granola.
  • Fire Marshal, Rotisserie Division. Keep the flame steady from first spark to last bite. Previous lamb experience a plus. Compensation: first cut.
  • Head of Squirrel Relations. Maintain diplomatic ties with the morning breakfast regulars. Some travel (across the lawn) required. Compensation: TBD, ask the squirrels.

No experience necessary, enthusiasm mandatory.

Wildlife Field Notes

  • Frogs: population still very strong (confirmed). Ringleader answers to the Mayor.
  • Squirrels: showing up daily for morning breakfast. Nickname pending.
  • Birds: have located the worm supply and are not being shy about it.
More next week. There is already talk of a second lamb.

Sent with love (and a slightly concerning number of frogs) from Shveitzburne

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